Sunday I attended my family reunion. I did the obligatory thing and took my business cards and handed them out to the family members I knew liked to read. Also to anyone who wanted my email address. I know shameless, right? What really touched my heart was my sister, Aleisha. I love that girl to death; she’s so proud of me. She berated me for only having an e-book, because she wanted to show off Seducing His Wife. How sweet is that? Well she also gave me grief for putting her nickname in the dedication, but that’s another story. Anyways I gave her my phone so she could work the room or pavilion, got a lot of good feedback. I said all that to make this point, I have another sister, we’ll call her Bunny wanted advice on romance.
Romance? I laughed and anyone who really knows me will also laugh. I am the most unromantic woman in the world. What? I’ll give you a moment to digest that, or wipe off the computer screen if you’ve just spit out your coffee, or champagne, or a moment to recover from the coughing fit. “But...but you write romance,” you sputter. Yes I do and if it wasn’t for my wonderfully romantic hubby, all of those sweet, tender moments would not be in the book. Thinking about moonlit strolls, indoor picnics, or rose petal baths is not my first thought.
But her question got me to thinking. What is romance? According to New Oxford American Dictionary, romance is a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Or an exciting, enjoyable love affair.
Well I’ve got both of those. I have an exciting, enjoyable love affair, I experience a feeling of mystery and anticipation when I look at my hubby. But how do you create those feelings when you are romantically challenged such as I am or my dear sister Bunny. She asked for five things so hopefully I won’t forget what I told her.
Communication is key.-You have to talk to one another. My hubby loves to talk, and would love it if I talked more (I think he’s turned on by my voice, but that’s a good thing). Talking allows him inside my heart and into my head. (wait that might not be a good thing.) *winks*
Listen-I hear some of you groaning out there. There’s more to communicating than just talking. You have to listen to what you’re partner is saying. Think it through, don’t jump on the offensive or defensive. Listen. Really listen. Think of the conversation like you favorite song. Have you really listened to the words or just humming along?
Reciprocate-Just because you like getting a massage all the time, doesn’t mean your partner wouldn’t enjoy one too! Surprise him or her and you’ll be surprised at the romance that follows.
Take the Initiative-Do you just go with the flow? Surprise your partner and be the aggressor. Take control. Choose the restaurant, the dance, song, or the sex position.
Something new- Yes, by all means try something new. Spice things up. Sometimes we get into a rut, just because it’s easier and it’s a tried and true method that works. If you always have meatloaf for dinner every Tuesday, try having a steak instead. Same thing with romance. If the flowers, chocolate, and champagne aren’t working, maybe a home cooked meal is in order. You’ll be surprised at how an omelet can get you an adoring look. Is coffee your partner’s thing, (caramel frappe from Mickey D’s) buy him or her one. A weakness for Velveeta and crackers, go nuts. A drop a little card where it will be found. And my hubby sends me e-cards, he knows I love Hoops and Yo-Yo, but you get the idea.
Time- Or gasp dare I say it, spend time with one another. Sometimes we forget the most valuable part of any relationship is the time we spend with one another. Remember why you fell in love with one another.
Okay, so that’s six, but I’m not sure if my dear sister Bunny with take any of that advice, the others sitting around the table thought it was good advice. Sometimes you can’t reform a player. So while I gulp and apply my own advice; tell me what you do to keep the romance alive?