Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Pineapple: Your P*ssy’s Best Friend


I'm so pleased to have the lovely Dahlia DeWinters at Decadent Decisions today. She's brought her with her a great post I'm sure will please.

W. Lynn, thanks so much for hosting me!

Readers, take a seat, kick off  your shoes and have a glass of iced pineapple juice.  I’ll tell you why in a minute, okay? 

photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net 
Every woman has heard the old joke about the blind man walking past the fish market and remarking “Hello, ladies.”  I’m sure there are more jokes out there about the way  pussy tastes or smells, and because they are jokes, the intimation is that the normal pussy smells and/or tastes bad and that’s why most men don’t like going down on a woman. Pshaw.

“Home in three days…don’t wash!”  - a missive supposedly sent to Josephine from Napoleon, proof of which I cannot find anywhere on the Internet.  But it’s fun to say, right? Perhaps Napoleon liked his pussy on the more fragrant side.

 As a teenager, my mother scarred me permanently by advising me to drink loads of water after eating tuna fish or salmon because “first you smell like fish, THEN you smell like fish.”  But she was right.  Whatever you consume will come out of you in one form or another.

Whatever the myths may be, let’s leave them behind in our quest for a tastier quim.  Given good hygiene, there are a few more steps you can take in order to sweeten the offering:

Avoid large amounts of junk food, garlic, onions.  Ever have that persistent garlic breath after eating spaghetti, that taste in your mouth that won’t go away?  Well, your pussy is probably feeling the same way, except the taste and/or smell will be in your partner’s mouth.

Stay away from smoking, too much alcohol and strongly spiced and/or fatty foods.  That Big Mac with large fries and a soda on a daily basis is eventually going to tell on you.  

Eat plenty of fruits, especially pineapple, melons, mango, and hold for cheap joke here, cherries.  These sweet fruits freshen your breath upstairs and down. Drinking fruit juices will also help.

Drink plenty of water.  This is a good thing for our bodies in general and one that we sometimes forget to do.  Water dilutes bodily secretions and helps to flush the toxins out. 

Try some of these tips to make your honey pot as mouth-watering as possible.

A note of caution:    Do not stick any fruits in your vagina.  You may experience an allergic reaction.


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The Wisest Maiden is a fantasy fairy tale that is inspired by the One Thousand Arabian Nights story:

After she is forced into marriage with a powerful ruler who deflowers and kills his brides, Issalia is compelled to use her wits to avoid the executioner’s axe. But can she avoid having her heart captured by the deeply wounded king?

Excerpt from The Wisest Maiden:

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For the next few days, Issalia took close instruction from Amina on proper etiquette during the wedding feast, the ritual wedding night dance, and consumed a strict diet of only fresh fruit, light pastries, vegetables, and rice. When Issalia inquired during a noontime meal why she was on such a diet, “Surely the king doesn’t think I need to lose weight?” Amina actually blushed and gave her the answer in a bashful whisper. “It’s so your … taste is pleasing to the king.”

“Taste?” She brought her cup of water to her mouth and then paused, her face becoming hot. “Oh. Taste.” An erotic thrill passed through her body as she imagined the king’s mouth and lips on her most intimate flesh. She sipped at the water in an attempt to cool her body’s temperature, for a light coating of perspiration had blossomed on her skin, although the dining area was shaded. It was strange that she would have such feelings for a man who meant to kill her. After she replaced her cup, she selected an especially large piece of sweet mango. “Then I shall not disappoint His Majesty,” she said before she devoured the fruit in three bites.

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****Giveaway Alert****
Thank you, everyone for helping me to celebrate my new release. Leave a comment below to be entered in a drawing for two – 2 oz bottles of fragrant body oil, great for massage and more.  Winner will be chosen August  31, 2012.


10 comments:

Eva's Flowers said...

Oh la la!! Who knew ;) I didn't for certain, but your post was very informative. Great sounding blurb and love that cover, I especially like how his face is half hidden, very mysterious...

Eva
evitap67(at)gmail(dot)com

June M. said...

Great post. Nice to know since I love pineapple! I will have to add more into my diet, and I already drink A LOT of water (generally 80 to 100+ oz daily)

The book sounds really good. I will have to add it to my TBR list.
June
manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com

Dahlia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dahlia said...

Hi Eva's Flowers and June! Thank you for reading and commenting. Glad you enjoyed the post.

W. Lynn, thank you for hosting me on your blog today.

W. Lynn Chantale said...

You are so very welcome. Tyrell has manned the bar with lots of fruit juices as well as plenty of alcohol. :-) Chef has plenty of fresh fruit and other goodies to sample. So help yourself and enjoy!

Sassy Shyla said...

Love this post D. I didnt' know that about fruit juices. I loathe pineapple , but I'm down for anything else,lol. I'm also glad to know i wasn't the only one scarred by their mother saying " You'll smell like fish".

Tara Chevrestt said...

ROFL. I can't get over what Napoleon said. LOL Awesome post!

Dahlia said...

Hi Shyla and Tara!

Thanks for stopping by. By the way, guess who told me about the Napoleon quote? Yep, my mom. She's....pretty straightforward about some things!

D

lorrainenelson said...

Great post, Dahlia! LMAO!

Dahlia said...

Hi Lorraine!

You know I'm always good for a laugh or three. ;)